How do I fit 7 years of history into a blog post?? It might be lengthy, but the story is worth it. I promise.
Bryan and I met in June 2011 in Provo, UT. We had just graduated from high school and ended up being in the same ward as we started our first term at BYU.
About three weeks into the term I became friends with one of his roommates and then spent the rest of the summer in their apartment becoming really close to all six boys. Although Bryan and I didn’t hang out a ton, he still claims that I’m the first girl he talked to at BYU and I was intrigued by his athletic ability and dedication to school.
The start of fall semester I moved to a different area but we saw each other weekly at BYU football games because we were in the same seating group. Mary and the boys.
It wasn’t until the next semester that things started to transpire. I got a random text in January from him about his mission call. About a month later I was hanging out with my friend Emily who also knew him and we decided to make some cookies and take them over. We spent the rest of the evening talking and I think that’s where the crush first started.
We then found more reasons to start hanging out with him and his roommate and eventually I did something
bold. I sat him down and said hey, I think I kind of like you. Much to my relief, he reciprocated! He was so respectful and kind.
Our first date was going to a BYU baseball game with fireworks after, (my favorite!)
Our conversations were filled with hopes and dreams for the future, family ideals, studying, missions, and things that mattered most. We watched movies, played games, and spent many late nights outside talking.
The semester ended much too quickly and it was time for me to go home for the summer and time for him to leave on his mission. We wrote occasionally but for the most part we did our own thing for the next two years. Him in Austria and Germany, me still at school and then in Alabama.
We got home around the same time and then spent the next 3 years doing this back and forth thing.
In 2014, our first date back was going to Stadium of Fire. I was TERRIFIED. I was just feeling super self-conscious and didn't know if things were going to be different than they were two years ago. We did a few more things that summer but ultimately nothing happened as boys were pursuing me and he was pursuing lots of other girls.
I don't know why but we ran into each other ALL. THE. TIME. It was awkward to say the least because I felt like a stalker but none of it was planned! I would see him on random benches, or at plays that I didn't know he would be at, or going to FHE with a friend and he was there. It was bizarre.
I like to tell myself that I moved on, but three years later and there was still something about that 19 year old boy that I couldn't get over, that was just so different from all the other boys I dated. So I tried to play it cool and just maintain a friendship.
Bryan was the type of person that had it all together. He was really active in church, he had a job and excelled at it, he was nice to everyone and had a ton of friends, he had good relationships with his family and saw them often, he was extremely dedicated to school, knew his boundaries when it came to helping other people but was still constantly serving, and always knew the right thing to say. I cherished our lengthy conversations that lasted for hours.
There were obviously many DTR's that occurred throughout the six years and ultimately, he never told me it wasn't going to happen. He just always said that it didn't feel right yet. Obviously that gave me a lot of hope and was just enough to keep me goin.
People laughed at me for thinking this was ever going to work out, and everyone told me it was time to move on. I would like to think that in 2016, I finally did move on. I was done chasing someone who clearly didn't want me back. I had a boyfriend and I finally felt like I was starting to let go. Bryan refused to talk to me for eight months which was frustrating but I let go of that too and stopped letting it bug me.
At the end of that eight months, it was New Year's and my mom suggested that I just text him Happy New Year's. That was weird because a) I was seriously dating someone and b) We hadn't talked for SO LONG. But as always I had no fear when it came to this boy and I did it.
He'll tell you that I had this way of contacting him and the most life-turning moments for him. Whenever his life was taking a sudden turn, I would just show up. I don't know how that happened but I'm sure there was some divine intervention involved.
He had just broken up with his girlfriend and he said that if things ever stopped working out with my boyfriend that he would like to try dating again. I was shocked. I didn't want to fall in this trap but he had never really said anything like that before! I wanted to give it a chance because it was everything I had always wanted.
The truth is, things weren't great between my boyfriend and I and then Bryan presented one of his philosophical ideas and it sounded great to me. He talked about Elder Holland's
"wrong roads" message where sometimes Heavenly Father leads us down a wrong road so that we can be sure of what the right road is. He said that either you start dating me and find out I'm the right road or you find out I'm the wrong road and you can be sure that your boyfriend is the right road. So the boyfriend and I went on a break and a week later Bryan and I went on a date. Actually two dates in a row. I thought they went well, even though I ended up with a fever on the second one. And then after that he started being weird again.
It was the first time I ever remember actually being mad at Bryan. I couldn't believe that I basically broke up with my boyfriend for this guy who STILL couldn't make up his mind after 6 years. I was mad that I gave him another chance and I honestly didn't understand what felt so wrong for him. We knew so much about each other, we had spent so much time together, we had a lot of the same goals, and it was clearly very easy to talk to each other. I decided that I was done. In fact, I was now convinced that he wasn't the person I was supposed to be with. Because if he was, it wouldn't be this difficult.
I ran into him in May of what was now 2017 at a softball game and we caught up for a minute. I remember inviting him to do a few things after that and like always, he was pretty good at saying no. But it didn't bug me anymore because I really didn't want to be anything more than just his friend now. He was dealing with some personal things so I just let it be.
Towards the end of the summer I decided that I had had enough of Provo, and was planning on moving to Salt Lake. I had spent a month at home, realized I needed a fresh start, and in turn got a job and a place to live up there. I texted Bryan just kind of saying that we should do something before I left.
Out of all the things I tried over the years, I have no idea why this was the ultimatum he needed (especially because I wasn't even viewing it as an ultimatum). But we went on a double date with my brother and his girlfriend and we had a blast! Something was just different. Of course we spent the rest of the night talking as always and then out of nowhere he was like, I'm really ready to give this a shot. Come over to my family's for dinner tomorrow and come help me decorate my classroom on Monday. It was not even a question, it was just a demand. It was super hesitant but I had been dying to meet his family for real for six years and figured it wasn't an opportunity I should pass up when he was actually taking initiative.
Everything went smoothly with his family, and then at work the next day I suddenly was being convinced to stay in Provo and teach at the school I was at the last year. Being in that seminary building felt so comfortable. I loved the people, I loved setting up the classroom, I loved being with Bryan.
Our reputation of continuous back and forth preceded us, but luckily for me everyone blamed him for being indecisive ;)
The rest is basically history minus the fact that at this point I had some major trust issues. It all just seemed too good to be true. But he continued to prove to me time and time again that he was being serious about this. I'm still not really sure what finally made the switch, but once he realized what he wanted, he never turned back. The road to engagement and marriage wasn't perfect or without flaws, but it happened exactly how I thought it would. I didn't have to overthink anything. We already knew each other so well so there wasn't any awkward first dates or trying to figure each other out. It was just natural and fun. It just made sense and the milestones passed quickly.
In October, I was going to New York with my parents for my graduation trip and the next thing I knew Bryan was invited and coming too. There had been talk of marriage but nothing too serious and he definitely wasn't planning on doing anything until
after New York and had spent some time with my parents. You can read all about our engagement story
here.
It was the most perfect trip and birthday!
Two and a half months later we were married on December 16 in the Payson, Utah Temple.
Now, he teaches seminary, I teach third grade, and we absolutely
LOVE being married.
I learned a lot of lessons throughout the past seven years. But ultimately, I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows exactly what we need and when we need it. I don't have all the answers and I don't know exactly why it had to happen this way with extreme ups and downs, fears, doubts, frustration, and sadness. But I know that all of those emotions have been replaced with gratitude, love, happiness, joy, peace, and one hot husband who truly is my best friend and the one I get to spend eternity with. I wouldn't trade this life for anything. It took so much work to get here, but life has never been so good.
If anything, let this be a message of hope, trust, and perseverance. Nothing in this life comes without work but there were so many blessings along the way for both myself and Bryan. We each had to go through our own journey in order to get each other and the experiences we had on the way there were necessary to the people we are becoming.
For those of you still in the rut, let this be to you:
dreams really do come true
We had no control over when or how, but I know that in the Lord's own timing He does give us the righteous desires of our hearts and grants us the happiness we deserve.
